Sebatian Hagan

In Lost in Place Salzman and his father don’t see eye to eye. What Salzman slowly understands is that his father is not living the life he wants, that he is unhappy. So Salzman's mission after that realization is to find happiness, so his father can feel better and see that his son has attained something he feel he does not have. As I grew older I became more out spoken and more rebellious to his will. He did not like it. The arguments we had been of epic proportion. Those were dark days. The tiniest thing would set him off. If he was angry with something I did the nightmare would begin? All it took was to hear his voice call from the kitchen in an irritated tone, “SEBASTIAN, why the hell aren’t the dishes done"! Me just getting home from school not an hour before him would reply “you never said to do them". From then on a massive argument would insure, not necessarily about anything, just mealy yelling about things that didn’t matter because we were both frustrated with each other. We both had issues with how the other person had to say. My father would ask me for help doing something and I kind of would just do a half ass job and say “I never get to hang out with friends I’m going out". I’d ask my dad for a ride on the weekend somewhere and he would say “am I a taxi service? I have thing I need to do as well". There was always a complaint about what I was doing.

Growing up, I never saw my mother. In fact I have not seen nor heard from her in over 15 years. I lived with my father who was 19 when I was born. As far back as I can remember early a day passed when I didn’t hear him complain about something he didn’t have or couldn’t do because of my unexpected birth. He never labeled me as the reason for it and I understood his frustration. I couldn’t imagine having a child at the age I am now. So in a since we both had a lot of maturing to do, me a lot more of course. All either of us ever wanted was to go out and live a life, go where he wanted and wander, and never sit in one place for more too long. While I could go out and do what I wanted, he was stuck; working a job and paying bills watching me run off with all the freedom. Not until I was older did I really understand that concept. I always thought he was just annoying, that he was trying to "bust my balls". But not I see the massive sacrifice he made for me. He gave up his youth and provided me with a normal child hood. Only now can I truly look back while I’m the one in college, moving forward into my life with so much freedom. That is exactly what my father for fitted. For that I respect of love him in a way I don’t think I’m capable of explaining through words.