Sebastian Hagan

I am a sore loser. I can’t stand to not succeed; if I fail I just try harder and get more annoyed with myself. It’s a character flaw but it helps me get what I need to do, do. The first year my high school held a film fest I was more than a new commer id never made a film before, but i had all these ideas and visions i needed to create. Coming into class the first day i was a outlander. I had not yet proven my abilities.I was determined to show people what i was made of, especially the Kids who knew what they were doing. I spent countless hours working on scripts, ideas, dialogue, costume, and editing. This being the first real short film I had ever made, I was slightly inexperienced and overconfident. After 4 months of working on my movie the day came to show my zombie movie and win the film fest. As I watched the upperclassmen’s films my confidence dimmed. I wasn’t as good as I thought. Once the films had been watched and the judges tallied the scores it was time to announce the winner. The announcer with a piece of paper walks to the mic and says “and the winner is.... Dorian Foyal". As applause broke out, I broke down. Not in tears of course but my confidence and soul was crushed. That year there was no second or third place. My film teacher said “Sab, don’t sweat it you’ll have another chance next year, and well have awards for second and third". I said "sweet" and walked to my car alone in the night and drove off. The next year the film fest reared its head. This time I was SURE I would win. I had examined my flaws, watched the reaction of the crowd over and over again. Studied my favorite directors styles, Terry Gilliam, Guy Ritchie, they were showing me how to make a sweet flick. Another 4 months it took to create my new movie, this time it was a totally new concept, a gambling addict who gets into trouble with a loan shark, meets a drunken Russian hobo and gains other world powers from a strange ring. Yes, I was sure of it this time. When the day came, once again I waited through all the films with bated breath. Once they had all been showed, I leaned over to my girl friend Kim and said " threes no way I am going to win, there were so many flaws" She just laughed at me as I tore through my finger nails. Finally the scores were tallied, and the three awards, best film, best screen play and best actor were about to be given away. The announce walked to the mic, my breath stuck in my chest as this scene of Déjà vu seemed to unravel. All I could think was "I didn’t win". The announce spoke into the mic and said “and the winner of best acting cast is, Sebastian Hagan". Now you may think this is the part of the story that I’m all happy and excited, all I could think was "DAMN NOT BEST FILM WHAT THE HELL, I SUCK". I went up and acted happy and retreated my award feeling half achieved. The next award, best screen play, went to this girl Lisa. Then it was time to hear who had won best film, the bastard who had still managed to best me when I thought I was at the top of my game. The announcer then said “Best film goes to SOAKED by Sebastian Hagan. Stunned I stumbled up out of my seat and went and took my award. I looked at my Film teacher who had been rooting for me and I said “what do I do" and he replied “SHOW IT TO PEOPLE"! I left that night with two trophies and went home and watched it with my best friend Luke, the main character in the movie, and his parents who were just as excited that we won as we were. That day I felt accomplished, like I had what it took. The next day I woke up and someone said "DUDE I HEARD YOU WON" I replied "ehh, it’s no big deal, just a high school film fest, let’s get excited when I take home the trophy for a real film fest". I never like to fail, but without failure i would never grow or create new and better things, I would be stagnent. I like to deserve my victory.