There was a time that I felt like everything was pushing me to the edge of a cliff, as if people had centered their attention on little old me. One day when I thought it was nerd day at my school to celebrate school spirt and homecoming victories against proviso east. I entered the building with my two braids with extensions, bifocals that were clear and black and could see more than usual, white shirt with pink dots everywhere, black pants that flood so badly you could see my white soxs. Suspenders that were grey attaching my pants that flooded, red and white tie that was so short a new born could fit. To meet the cherry on top came along my huge duffle bag with all my books and materials that i really didn't need, but had to bring them to act as if i was really a nerd. When i walked through the halls all eyes were on me. I really didn't care because it was nerd day, until I got to 3rd period. A student came up and asked me, "why are you dressed like a nerd'". My response was "um because it's nerd day", in reply she says "no it isn't it's red and white day". That very moment I felt an outcast and wanted to go in a deep dark corner to hide. My hands were moist and people and my body felt numb. To cover up what I had felt I laughed with them as if nothing was wrong. From there on out I agreed look at the schedule for the week and not just assume. I was the nerd that day.
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Students change their mind about what they want to become everyday, or find diffrent things that have interested them. Me personally have done that plenty of times. when i was 5yrs of age I wanted to become a bus driver. They were so big and so fun to ride I just wanted to see what it felt like to drive that huge bus. I was mentally attracted to huge cars and big objects that move. Me being a bus driver that I wanted to be, Me and my mom decided to take a trip to the store which was right up the corner. There came a bus that drove past us and I cried so hard and loud because I really wanted to ride on the bus just to the corner. As I got older being a bus driver was no longer in my interest. I did not stick with what I wanted to do. Now today I stick with dancing, doing hair, and shopping.
Thursday, August 11, 2011
There was a time in my freshman year in highschool that I feelt like an outcast . It was pretty weird to me at that time because I was a young kid with no knowledge of the the situation. People told me to join a team in highschool because it was a faster way to meet new people . So I joined the football team and it was tough for me because in football you have to earn the respect from the other players. So I didn't have any friends as soon as I joined the team because you know there's always "groupies" like a set of friends that are always together. But I worked hard to be respected by other players and also to make friends . As I keept getting better on my game of football I also started geeting closer to other players and I eventually became friends. I take this experience as a good one because I should of been my self instead of trying to be one of the cool guys at that time. That's why now I never try to, maybe force my self to become or try to be friends with others I let it flow . Because if you are a good person they will evantually come to you .
Sebastian Hagan
Back when I was a young little lad my grandmother won a raffle. The prize she won was a three week long sleep away camp. In this camp I would have to sleep in a platform tent with 3 other kids and a leader. During the day I would be able to do any activity of my choosing. The activities included Wakeboarding, Water Skiing, Tubing, Fishing, Sailing, Rock climbing, Bike riding and anything you could possibly do in the woods. I was very excited but my grandmother was worried. She would always say things like “are you going to be ok" or” if you need ANYTHING, you just call me" and I would always say "OK MA", I never did call.
My aunt Sue, who I had stayed with prior the trip, drove me to the camp which was located along the Chesapeake Bay in Maryland. Once we arrived I was shown around the camping ground by this hippie that had long dreadlocks and no shoes on. I remember my aunt asking him if his feet hurt not wearing shoes. He replied "No I have thick calluses" as he stepped on a bee. He jerked up his foot and said that the sting was nothing. Once I had settled in and my aunt had left I realized that I was alone, that I would have to make friends with the other kids. I soon realized I was the youngest kid in the camp. I was 10 or 11 years old and everyone else was 13 to 17 years old. At that age I was very... hyper to say the least. I was always over excited and wanted to do something.
The words "chill out ya tweak" were shot at me allot. By the end of the second week I seemed to be getting on peoples nerves. I had never really analyzed my behavior before that point. I was in Christian school at the time and there people were mostly like me. So I realized that I needed a behavioral change in order to befriend the other kids at camp. I effectively made this change and became more reserved. Not long after I started this did I realize that people were not as adverse to me as before.
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Growing up all I wanted to do was PLAY. Whenever responsibilities came up I would fight them with every fiber of my being. I didn’t want to do school work. There was a whole world out there to see and discover, WHY ON EARTH WOULD I SIT INSIDE AND WRITE. Naturally this type of mind set worried my parents. Slowly as I became older I started to realize that one day, I to, would need to "get a job". This concept had always haunted me. Listening to my dad and many other people saying that they hated to work. The one thing I seemed to notice is that WORK SUCKED. I never wanted to work; I just wanted to play video games all day. At the time I was a big on games. Obsessed might be a good way to describe my relationship with my Playstation one. So in turn I decided that I was going to make video games. My father would say "GOOD, now we can get to work on that entire math you need to learn in order to do that". Once I figured that out, I thought that instead of that I would become a marine biologist and swim in the ocean with scuba gear and pet sharks. Once again my father would say “AHH, so you’re going to go to college for 6 year the right?". From there on I jumped from Astronaut to astronomer and considered, meteorology, archeology. Once I discovered that all these things I wanted to do require many years of study, at the time I despised going to school, I gave up.
Alex Gillespie
I was some what like Vowell because I too was in band but because it was a required course. But I also was not like Vowell I was a popular person in High School. I knew mostly everybody from freshmen to seniors. Even though I didn't associate with underclassmen like that. I was the person who was known through the whole school. I was the person who was, the funny guy and that all people liked to hang out with.
But even a guy like me could be an outcast and I was at one point and time in my life. It starts with these Church Conventions i use to go to every year. I mean everyone knew me left and right. There was a Hi, Alex here, and a Hi, Alex There. I mean I was the person to be around with to hang out. Even the adults was calling my name. Now I had stop going to these conventions for like for years straight. And now I had went this year and there were like new people I never seen before every and some old people I knew. But when I got there it was not the same I got a few hello's from the people i knew but there was nobody to hang with because the old people I knew hung out with the new people. So this year I felt like a total outcast in the Convention. I some what felt alone but I was there with my brother but when he went out with his friends there I was all alone again hanging with myself on the phone.
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There is a lot of things that I wanted to do in my life like become a rapper, drummer, and web designer. I wanted to be a rapper because of the metaphors and other parts of speech you could use in your lyrics. I was to fascinating to me how well it sound, how you can twist what your are saying to have figure out what your are trying to express. But I stopped that dream because people did not take the studio seriously and not going when we needed to. And i decided to stop rapping. I wanted to be come a drummer because of the sounds, the beats, the way can make those beats and all of that stuff. I can do a little bit on the drumming side like keeping up with the song but I wanted to do more like all of the runs in stuff coming out of the pocket. But I never really practiced like I should have so I am just weak at playing the set. But I still want to learn how to get better. And now that i am at Columbia i can practice in the music room and who ever does know how to play in the music room can give me some tips. So now theirs one more thing my dream of becoming a Web Designer. I had that dream ever since the day I took an after school matters class my freshmen year. It was so intriguing to me how yo can design your on web pages. And how easy and simple it was to make so much money. I also liked to work with computers a lot and I can also use my creativity and imagination.
But even a guy like me could be an outcast and I was at one point and time in my life. It starts with these Church Conventions i use to go to every year. I mean everyone knew me left and right. There was a Hi, Alex here, and a Hi, Alex There. I mean I was the person to be around with to hang out. Even the adults was calling my name. Now I had stop going to these conventions for like for years straight. And now I had went this year and there were like new people I never seen before every and some old people I knew. But when I got there it was not the same I got a few hello's from the people i knew but there was nobody to hang with because the old people I knew hung out with the new people. So this year I felt like a total outcast in the Convention. I some what felt alone but I was there with my brother but when he went out with his friends there I was all alone again hanging with myself on the phone.
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There is a lot of things that I wanted to do in my life like become a rapper, drummer, and web designer. I wanted to be a rapper because of the metaphors and other parts of speech you could use in your lyrics. I was to fascinating to me how well it sound, how you can twist what your are saying to have figure out what your are trying to express. But I stopped that dream because people did not take the studio seriously and not going when we needed to. And i decided to stop rapping. I wanted to be come a drummer because of the sounds, the beats, the way can make those beats and all of that stuff. I can do a little bit on the drumming side like keeping up with the song but I wanted to do more like all of the runs in stuff coming out of the pocket. But I never really practiced like I should have so I am just weak at playing the set. But I still want to learn how to get better. And now that i am at Columbia i can practice in the music room and who ever does know how to play in the music room can give me some tips. So now theirs one more thing my dream of becoming a Web Designer. I had that dream ever since the day I took an after school matters class my freshmen year. It was so intriguing to me how yo can design your on web pages. And how easy and simple it was to make so much money. I also liked to work with computers a lot and I can also use my creativity and imagination.
Jerel Gilard - Blog Response 8
In the beggining of my high school career the word "popular" and "cool" were being tossed around a lot but only seem to be used to describe athletes, cheerleaders and dancers of the school. To me being popular meant everything, I just knew if I was I'd be the person everyone wanted to be around and the man every girl wanted to be with. I tried my hardst to fit in with what al the "popular" kids were doing and the way they carried themselves. Not until a new girl name Errica Jones start attending my school that every guy had his eyes on, but I was the first to befriend her. She immediately noticed what I was trying to do and explained to me that the reason she started associating with me was because she liked my genuine personality. After thinking for hours about what she said I realized that the true definition of "cool" is to be unique. Many people try so hard to fit in and end up losing sight of who they are that they become replicas of who they look up to.
I started to go back to my old habbits, doing the things I used to love, and even decided to change my style to fit my new additude. Quickly I began to see the change in atmosphere as my peers started noticing me more, trying to be around me and compliments on how I dress became an everyday routine. At last I was introduced to being "cool" and labeled as "popular" but after awhile the hype of being "popluar" faded. Once I seen there were many people living lives that contridicts their beliefs just to be noticed and have friends, I lost interest in the words "popuilar" and "cool".
If you ask me I was one of the few kids at my school who actually deserved the label. Everyone else were mere copies of my appearance and shadows of my presence. No, I didn't feel I was better than anyone else but I did feel like I was one of the few who were true my themselves.
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Growing up I wanted to be everything I could think of that looked cool, like an astronaut so I could roam around space and explore other planets. A police officer like my mother used to be so I could be out in the middle of the night chasing down criminals. A zoo keeper so I could take care of the animals because I loved all kinds of animals and wanted to interact with as many as possible. Even a designer so I could design my own cartoons for the whole world to watch, hoping at the time it would be as big as Pokemon.
I quickly lost interest in all of those career paths, not because I didn't like them anymore but because I was maturing. I didn't feel like that was what I really wanted to do for the rest of my life. The hard part was finding out what I was good at and what did I want to do for the rest of my life. For about a year I was lost in this mysterious world with no idea of what I was good at doing. Then I realized how much I loved music and how my life is affected and surrounded by it. My brother had a talent for making beats for songs and writing lyrics, which after watching his I picked up quickly.
I started to go back to my old habbits, doing the things I used to love, and even decided to change my style to fit my new additude. Quickly I began to see the change in atmosphere as my peers started noticing me more, trying to be around me and compliments on how I dress became an everyday routine. At last I was introduced to being "cool" and labeled as "popular" but after awhile the hype of being "popluar" faded. Once I seen there were many people living lives that contridicts their beliefs just to be noticed and have friends, I lost interest in the words "popuilar" and "cool".
If you ask me I was one of the few kids at my school who actually deserved the label. Everyone else were mere copies of my appearance and shadows of my presence. No, I didn't feel I was better than anyone else but I did feel like I was one of the few who were true my themselves.
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Growing up I wanted to be everything I could think of that looked cool, like an astronaut so I could roam around space and explore other planets. A police officer like my mother used to be so I could be out in the middle of the night chasing down criminals. A zoo keeper so I could take care of the animals because I loved all kinds of animals and wanted to interact with as many as possible. Even a designer so I could design my own cartoons for the whole world to watch, hoping at the time it would be as big as Pokemon.
I quickly lost interest in all of those career paths, not because I didn't like them anymore but because I was maturing. I didn't feel like that was what I really wanted to do for the rest of my life. The hard part was finding out what I was good at and what did I want to do for the rest of my life. For about a year I was lost in this mysterious world with no idea of what I was good at doing. Then I realized how much I loved music and how my life is affected and surrounded by it. My brother had a talent for making beats for songs and writing lyrics, which after watching his I picked up quickly.
Noway Jose'
Kelcher Edwards
The Fourth of July was a big event for our family. It was a time where my relatives and freinds could come together and just have fun and enjoy eachothers company. My grandparents would set up tables and chairs in a public park and set up food and games for everyone to enjoy. Usually everyone would bring something extra like cakes,cookies and beverages. This July I brought a new friend of mine to the family picnic. His name was Jose' Burgos. He was Latino with long black hair, a nice chissled body and an amazing personality. He was the type of guy you would see in romantic movies. Where he finds the beauty within a pretty girl and in the end of the movie they end up getting married. I had a little crush on him but there was a down fall in Jose's personality. He was too concieted. I intorduced Jose' to my parents and cousins and immediatley jaws dropped. My cousin Tiffany quickly made her way up in front to get a better look or flirt. She rubbed his arm and laughed at every little thing he said. I didn't really think anything of her and the others behavior because I was trying to have fun with my new friend. But as the day went on things started to annoy me. There was a non-stop giggling noise that Tiffany made everytime he made a joke. Everytime I heard her laugh I wanted to pull my hair out. I sat at the table bymyself while Jose' said something sexy in spanish to my cousins around him. He noticed I was bymyself but he never checked to see if I was ok. The picnic started to end and I was about to go and get Jose' so he could take me home, but he was nowhere to be found. i called his phone three to four times but every call I made ended up to be his voicemail. "Hey it's Jose', if your sexy ill make sure to call back, but if you look like shit, this may be the last time you hear my voice". beeeeep, "Hey Jose' please call me back I'm waiting by the car," I said with a shaky tone to my voice. For two hours I waited by the car, and I begun to hear a noise that made my spine curl, Tiffany's giggle. It was Jose' and Tiffany holding hands and smiling like everything was peachy clean. He unlocked the car and I got in with a loud bang from the car door closing behind me. He got in starting the car, Tiffany jumped in the back. I felt like the third wheel. I did'nt say one word for the rest of the night, when he dropped me off at home I got out the car without even saying goodbye. When I got in the house I washed my face and brushed my teeth and went to bed. Around two o clock I felt my phone vibrating in my bed. I grabbed it and noticed Jose's name pop up on the screen. I ignored the call. Three minutes later I got a text from Jose' saying that he was sorry for his behavior and that he wanted to make it up to me. I deleted the text and his phone number forgetting he ever exsisted.
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The Fourth of July was a big event for our family. It was a time where my relatives and freinds could come together and just have fun and enjoy eachothers company. My grandparents would set up tables and chairs in a public park and set up food and games for everyone to enjoy. Usually everyone would bring something extra like cakes,cookies and beverages. This July I brought a new friend of mine to the family picnic. His name was Jose' Burgos. He was Latino with long black hair, a nice chissled body and an amazing personality. He was the type of guy you would see in romantic movies. Where he finds the beauty within a pretty girl and in the end of the movie they end up getting married. I had a little crush on him but there was a down fall in Jose's personality. He was too concieted. I intorduced Jose' to my parents and cousins and immediatley jaws dropped. My cousin Tiffany quickly made her way up in front to get a better look or flirt. She rubbed his arm and laughed at every little thing he said. I didn't really think anything of her and the others behavior because I was trying to have fun with my new friend. But as the day went on things started to annoy me. There was a non-stop giggling noise that Tiffany made everytime he made a joke. Everytime I heard her laugh I wanted to pull my hair out. I sat at the table bymyself while Jose' said something sexy in spanish to my cousins around him. He noticed I was bymyself but he never checked to see if I was ok. The picnic started to end and I was about to go and get Jose' so he could take me home, but he was nowhere to be found. i called his phone three to four times but every call I made ended up to be his voicemail. "Hey it's Jose', if your sexy ill make sure to call back, but if you look like shit, this may be the last time you hear my voice". beeeeep, "Hey Jose' please call me back I'm waiting by the car," I said with a shaky tone to my voice. For two hours I waited by the car, and I begun to hear a noise that made my spine curl, Tiffany's giggle. It was Jose' and Tiffany holding hands and smiling like everything was peachy clean. He unlocked the car and I got in with a loud bang from the car door closing behind me. He got in starting the car, Tiffany jumped in the back. I felt like the third wheel. I did'nt say one word for the rest of the night, when he dropped me off at home I got out the car without even saying goodbye. When I got in the house I washed my face and brushed my teeth and went to bed. Around two o clock I felt my phone vibrating in my bed. I grabbed it and noticed Jose's name pop up on the screen. I ignored the call. Three minutes later I got a text from Jose' saying that he was sorry for his behavior and that he wanted to make it up to me. I deleted the text and his phone number forgetting he ever exsisted.
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Brandice Gilson
In high school I went from being the top of the school to the bottom in a day. I started getting bullied by one girl, who was really good at manipulating others and how and what they thought. With how high tech society is today, it didn't take long for the rumors to spread like wild fire. One day, a tuesday to be exact I was one of the most "popular" girls and school. And by the end of the day on Thursday, my whole school along with outside schools knew who I was and wanted nothing to do with me.
On the Tuesday that all the bullying started at about 11:30am, my so called friend was mad at me for turning in the 20 dollar bill we both found on the ground in the girls locker room. She wasn't mad, she was pissed that I turned it in. She thought she had claim on it since she saw it first. She planned on keeping it. I on the other hand wanted to do the right thing by turning it in, because it was most certainly someone from our class and they would soon notice it was missing. I did the moraly right thing. But because I wanted to do the right thing, I pissed off the last person anyone in my school would want to make mad.
As soon as I went and picked up that crisp brand new twenty, her mouth started to run. Calling me a whore and that she would make me pay for it. I was caught off guard by this because she was freaking out over money that wasn't even hers. It's not that big of a deal.
By 1 o'clock pm that day the whole school was hearing a different story. One of the main stories going around was me saying that I said she only needed the money because her dad had a gambleing problem. I never even met her dad. I was so frustrated then because she was saying upsurd things. By the end of the day my phone was blowing up with numbers I didn't even know. Text message after text messages most of them read "Your a stupid bitch and I hope you slit your wrists" "Go die, no one wants you around" "why don't you just go kill yourself"
I was so confused by all of this. I didn't think that just because I did the right thing that I would be harrassed for it. I tried to brush it off, like it was no big deal. I went home that night and kept it all to myself.
The next day (wednesday) I thought it would all be blown over, like nothing ever really happened. But I had a rude awakening. My locker was "decorated" with chewed wadded up used gum. My friends wouldn't even look at me and my car was "tacoed" which means that people took about two dozen taco's and smashed them all over my car, smearing hot sauce on the windows, writing "BITCH" on the front windsheild and "GO DIE" on the back. The bulling continued to other schools when I went out to a school basketball game.
I felt so depressed. I was considering that maybe everything would be better if I wasn't around. I told my mum how I was feeling and what was all happening thursday afternoon when I came home during my lunch hour. I was crying so hard that I started hyperventalating, and then I started dry heaving. I sat on the cold granite floor in the bathroom with my eyes all blurred. I couldn't even make out the toilet if I was really going to throw up.
My mum tried comforting me but I was set on not wanting to never go back. That night I deleted my facebook because I was still getting death threats and links to assisted suicide websites. I soon started going to counciling and really going in depth on everything happening. I was going to transfer schools but since everyone at evey school in town hated me that was out of the question. Then I starte looking at boarding schools, which wasn't what I wanted. Then I looked at puting up with every thing for just one more year and graduate a year early.
This was going to take some effort. With all the bullying I went from a straight "A" studnent to a straight "D" student. I worked my ass off to pass all of my classes. I graduated the following year with no friends and straight "B's". It wasn't my best but I was still trying to handle being completly alone eveyday. I had my family, mainly my sister and Mum are the ones to thank. They got me through this hard time in my life.
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